Why Are Only 1 in 3 Older Singles Open to Dating?

Of the 122M citizens age 50 and older, more than 30 percent are single – accounting for 37 million golden bachelors and bachelorettes. Our survey found that half of senior singles are divorced or separated, one in ten are widowed, and 40 percent have never been married. But how many are looking to date?

Dating later in life can be daunting and often includes extra challenges. A smaller pool of eligible partners, health issues, family dynamics, confusing technology, or baggage from previous relationships can all lessen the appeal of playing the field.

Though some embrace the freedom to be more selective, many unattached older people aren’t even attempting to court. Two-thirds of singles aged 50+ said they weren’t looking to date.

Sometimes, reluctance stems from personal circumstances and pain. Widows and widowers were less interested in dating than divorcees and lifelong singles. The widest gaps in dating interest fell along gender and age lines. Just over one-quarter of single women over 50 are seeking a suitor, compared to more than 40 percent of men. This gender disparity may suggest that women are more content alone or have endured more difficult dating histories. It might also confirm the adage that good men are hard to find.

Unsurprisingly, the desire to date among older singles also diminished with age. Those unattached in their 50s were twice as likely to be on the prowl as those in their 70s. Though the desire to date may have lost luster among seniors, many remain open to finding lasting companionship.

When exploring why so many older singles lack interest in dating, we encountered responses ranging from heartbreaking to inspirational.

Put simply, many 50+ singles feel fulfilled without romantic pursuits. Some prefer focusing their energy on other types of goals. Our respondents regularly mentioned disdain for the dating process and scars from previous relationships as reasons to steer clear of dating.

This assortment of reasons fell into four general categories: those happy alone, those who can’t stand dating, and those facing practical or personal obstacles.

1. Older adults (especially women) love their independence

Nine out of ten older singles who aren't seeking relationships report being content without partners. This is especially true for women who have discovered a hard-won sense of freedom after years of putting others first. Many have found deep satisfaction in reclaiming their autonomy after raising families or ending marriages.

“I raised a family and now want to take care of myself. I love my independence.” — Female respondent

“I discovered what it's like to be my own top priority, and I'm never going back!” — 60-year-old divorcee

2. Many singles detest the dating scene

Nearly three-quarters of older singles said their own trust issues keep them from dating, while 59 percent express anxiety about meeting strangers or using online platforms. More than half have experienced traumatic dating situations, which makes them hesitant to get back on the market and hesitant to trust potential suitors.

“In relationships, I've experienced every manner of abuse: verbal, physical, cheating, etc.” — Female respondent

“I'm afraid of someone stealing the money I've worked so hard to save.” — 56-year-old woman

3. Practical concerns come with older age

Various practical barriers prevent older singles from pursuing relationships. Half feel they've aged out of dating, while others prioritize family or career over romantic relationships. Health concerns kept around a third of respondents out of the dating arena, and others fixed incomes may not allow for going out socially with dates.

“I just escaped debt and needed to save money for a while.” — Male respondent

“I have developed a medical issue that makes physical intimacy uncomfortable.” — Female respondent

4. Some people have no desire to try again

Half of older singles who aren’t interested in dating lack confidence, with a similar number believing they wouldn't be desired by others. We found that another percent are grieving lost partners.

“I already met my soulmate. After her death, nobody else is remotely appealing.” — Widowed male respondent

“My partner of eight years passed unexpectedly. It's too hard to start over.” — Female respondent

Despite the many valid reasons for avoiding dating culture, that journey is necessary for some older singles seeking new love. Let’s see how the solo senior set is finding companionship.

Many older singles seeking new partners appear uncertain about the best method. Among singles over 50 open to romantic relationships, 44 percent took no proactive steps to meet partners in the last year.

Dating apps have become the norm for Americans under 30, but some older singles are uncomfortable with the tech or mistrust virtual matchmaking. However, the use of apps among mature daters is expanding, as are the options tailored to older subscribers. Specialized services like OurTime, SilverSingles, and Lumen cater specifically to the crowd over 50.

One-third of respondents seeking romantic relationships use online dating services, and one-quarter have tried connecting via social media. Still, others relied on family, friends, shared interests, or social groups. Though dating websites and apps proved the most popular choice for meeting potential romantic partners, their use was twice as prevalent among singles in their 50s as those aged 60+

The results with apps appear to be a mixture of positivity and pain. Older singles who used dating apps cited ease of use and informative profiles as positive aspects. Conversely, many complained about fake profiles and scammers, a limited selection of prospects, and a superficial vibe that too often centered on sex. Women, in particular, mentioned negative experiences involving safety threats and violations of trust.

Social media is an online alternative used by one-quarter of mature singles seeking romance. Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, or Reddit can connect strangers with similar interests who might find sparks together. Even TikTok, used primarily by youngsters, can connect like minds or provide entertaining content tailored to older singles.

More traditional approaches are more comfortable for some solo seniors who shy away from technology. Hobby groups, like pickleball teams or church groups, were used to scout potential partners by 22 percent of those seeking romance. Fourteen percent relief on old-fashioned matchmaking facilitated by family and friends. One in ten older singles open to romance participated in professional or social activities intending to meet a partner (including speed dating, which isn’t only for youngsters anymore).

Many of these approaches are similarly suited to finding friendship, a vital element later in life. Studies have shown friendship can be as crucial to longevity as diet and exercise. Yet we found that 20 percent of singles over 50 had one close friend or none.

Interestingly, we found that more single seniors are open to marriage than are interested in dating. Nearly 40 percent of unattached elders are open to finding new spouses, with another quarter undecided about the prospect. Again, men in our study were more enthusiastic than women about the prospect of marriage.

Even more revealing was the lack of overlap between those open to marriage and those looking to date: only 30 percent of single seniors who were open to marrying felt the same about courtship. This preference for marriage over dating implies that many seniors hoping for companionship lack the tolerance or time to try dating again, and many explicitly expressed this sentiment.

Some are too distracted or still focused on careers. One respondent said, “With my office hours, I’m too busy to date.”

Others resented the effort required to meet potential mates, and wished for serendipitous meetings! Many would be happy to find a special someone but don’t want to go through the process. One woman in our study summed up what many felt. “I wouldn't mind being in a relationship, but I want to skip the dating part,” she said.

At any age, dating is a difficult process, filled with many potential pitfalls and pain points, but the reward of lifelong love can be so great. Among older singles not seeking romance, two-thirds said they would reconsider dating or finding a romantic partner given the right circumstances or person.

For many, change would depend on achieving personal improvement or waiting for the right time. One respondent said he might think about dating “once things settle down — I have too much going on.” Another felt that pursuing romance would require “Being in a better place financially and mentally.”

Most reluctant romantics insisted that only the right person could change their minds and open their hearts. “If I met someone who was particularly attractive or appealing, I'd change my mind,” said one man just entering his 60s. A 59-year-old woman would reconsider her opposition to dating “If I met someone who was kind, responsible, loyal, and funny whom I could trust.”

Authenticity, honesty, shared interests, and beliefs were the most desirable traits that might ignite one’s romantic interest. Even among those open-minded to change, many singles reiterated aversions to dating and maintained they wouldn’t actively seek out such partners. “It would have to be something that happens organically,” said one man. Another woman said she’d need to “meet someone during my everyday routine.”

How might these solo souls best find lasting love at this stage of the game?

Drawing on lessons learned over countless years of experience, our pool of older singles shared some hard-won dating wisdom. Asked for relationship pointers, this was their advice:

Rather than rushing into passion, our solo seniors emphasized patience and stressed the necessity for self-recognition and deep familiarity with potential partners. Being open and honest, respectful and kind, starting with friendship, and never settling or ignoring red flags were also consistent themes. These fundamentals serve as excellent guidance for romantics of any age.

TheSeniorList research team conducted an online poll in November 2024 of 1,232 unmarried single adults Americans age 50+. 78% were white, 13% Black, 2% Asian, and 7% identifying as some other ethnicity. 58% were 50-59 years old, 31% were between 60-69, 10% were 70+, with 1% preferring not to state their exact age. 58% were female, and 40% were male, with fewer than 2% choosing not to disclose their gender identity.

When the majority of those single adults indicated that they were not interested in dating, we conducted a follow-up survey to learn more. The second online survey was conducted in December of 2024. We surveyed 488 mature adult singles about their thoughts on dating, romance, and marriage. 54% of these respondents were female and 45% were male with 1% choosing not to identify. The age of this group ranged from 50-84 with the median age being 59. 56% of those had been married previously and 44% had never married.